© 2023 Rachel L. Shumate | All rights reserved.
My younger self had absolutely no idea how difficult adulting could really be… I guess when we’re young we don’t realize that many of the coveted (and so called) “adult freedoms” also come with an equally, or larger dose, of responsibilities. Now that I’m a grown-ass adult with a husband, kid, cat, house, job and more responsibilities than I can shake a stick at, I sometimes find myself a tad overwhelmed and wondering: what the hell was I thinking…?! Adulting is totally overrated. Can we bring back naps…?
I was feeling this way the other day as I stole a few minutes, and a cookie, during a long overdue break. (No worries, I work from home; it was my cookie.) After I assessed the rest of my to-do-list and quickly dismissed the wistful thought of a power nap, my mind wandered to all my friends that I knew were struggling equally as hard, if not more so. I wondered if they were having a good week, and made a mental note to check in with them later – something I chided myself that I needed to do more often.
This became abundantly clear just recently as I was helping my daughter deliver a multitude of Girl Scout cookies. I admit that I don’t relish “cookie season” in the least (okay, I seriously hate it), but it is some consolation that I get to scarf tasty cookies, and also visit with my friends that I seldom get to see. In the span of just a few days, I got to drop in on, and visit several of my closest friends. Aside from the frantic running about, it was actually quite nice. We got to chat and catch up at leisure (not a common luxury). And as I drove away each time, I noted some of the struggles my friends were experiencing that I’d had no idea about because the snatches of communication we do have weren’t long enough to include much of anything of actual importance. Life is hectic and we all seem to be busy trying to keep our heads above water. To be honest, I was actually grateful that cookie deliveries essentially forced me to visit my friends. (I realize just how ridiculously sad that statement is.)
I don’t know about you, but life just seems to get busier and busier as I “grow up” (I use that phrase loosely). I’ve also noticed that as women, I think we often put our own needs on the back burner, always putting ourselves very last. Our nurturing instincts let our time and energy get eaten up by the demands of others. One of the side effects of this is that our relationships with our friends dwindle to the occasional text message every few days or so – because having an actual phone conversation feels like an act of congress. Who the heck has time for that? I’m absolutely guilty as charged. (Sorry, friends!) And while it’s understandable that sometimes that’s simply all we can do, but I feel that over time, this all leads to poor mental health. It’s no wonder anxiety is on the rise. We need time to decompress. We need breaks and more self-care. And we need comradery and community.
And that right there, is my cookie-induced revelation (okay, reminder because obviously that’s not new info, nor is it rocket science). Yes; adulting sucks and is utterly time-consuming. And yes… Scheduling even a coffee date with a friend is not always easy. I mean, hell… most of my coffee is consumed barely lukewarm, on the run, and all while trying to do 10 different things at the same time. But I truly do feel that life is lighter with friends. Not only is it a form of self-care, it’s also a boundaries flex. Friendships are good for our mental health, and making time for them shows ourselves, and others, that it is important.
So, if your heart is agreeing unreservedly that you should make more time for your friendships, but your mind is currently calculating the logistics and telling you that you’ve got entirely too much going on this week, or even month, tell your mind to shut it and go call one of your friends and schedule something as soon as possible. We simply have to make time and plan for the things that are important to us. Life is too dang short. Let’s make an extra effort to thrive, not merely survive. (I pledge to make a better effort as well!)
PS: I created some cute little graphics that you can download and message to your friends with an invite for a coffee date – or for tea, if you’re not a coffee person. …Simply because I’m kinda extra that way …and dorky – I’m extra dorky! But for real, you should send them and set up some friend dates. Go fill up your proverbial cup with much needed chitchat and caffeine!
PPS: The featured image is something you can purchase in my boutique. I personally think it makes for a fun and thoughtful gift. And if you’re so inclined, maybe you and your friend might like to pass it back and forth… You know, like, “the star is in your court now so you get to schedule the next friend get-together” kind of scenario. Just a thought. Though I’ve already stated I’m a bit of a dork like that, haha.
🙂
