© 2024 Rachel L. Shumate | All rights reserved.
My fortune cookie gave it to me straight, much to the utter disapproval of my mother. Fortune cookies are quite possibly my favorite part of our usual Chinese lunch buffet, and this one in particular had me busting out loud, howling with laughter! When I passed it over to my enquiring parents, my mom read it and immediately exclaimed, “That’s insulting!!!”
What did my wise (or wise-ass) little cookie have to say? My fortune read, “Seek help from professionals trained in mental health care.” The part that I found extra funny was that it used the word “professionals,” indicating that just one wasn’t going to cut it! (That’s one smart cookie.)
I continued to giggle about my fortune on the ride home, and my mom was still insisting that it was offensive. Keenly aware that my daughter’s little ears were listening in the backseat, I countered, asking why…? I ventured to explain that her thinking my fortune was insulting, really only reinforces the negative stereotypes and unconscious biases people have towards folks who go to therapy and seek professional help. Nonetheless, she maintained that it was “too forward to put inside a fortune cookie.” (Which also made me laugh.) Regardless, I still think it was great – for various reasons. It also got me thinking…
What’s with all the stigma around mental health anyway? Quite honestly, I would go to therapy if we could afford it. I’m all about some self-growth, and what better way to work on yourself than to have a professional help you unpack everything that’s weighing you down? (I gotta say, I don’t travel light figuratively or literally.) I’m also a firm believer that mental health is health. Unfortunately, we have super expensive, terrible, private health insurance, and just going to the doctor when we’re physically ill costs a fortune. Which is why we don’t go unless absolutely necessary. (I seriously get livid when I think about our “health” “care” system.)
So instead of going to therapy, I’ve attempted to troubleshoot my mental health through DIY tactics. It’s a very “throw crap at the wall and see what sticks” sort of approach. (Therapy is really more advisable…) Over the years I’ve read more self-improvement books than you can shake a stick at, tried my hand at cognitive behavioral therapy, attempted to incorporate meditation into my routine, started a rather helpful journaling method, and several other wellness practices. Ultimately, I still wound up on a healthy dose of anxiety medication because even if you do all the things, you sometimes still need some extra help.
So, yeah… Hi, my name is Rachel and apparently, I have high-functioning anxiety. This means that I seem “normal.” (Who am I kidding? I can barely pass as eccentric.) Okay, so I seem mostly normal on the outside, because you just can’t see the downward spiral that I twist in regularly – or hear the loud, negative, berating thoughts that pummel by brain on the daily. I’ve also traversed the dark depths of postpartum depression, and very nearly set up a permanent residence. I like to share this because I feel it’s important to be open about mental health in order to raise awareness, and especially so others will feel less alone.
I think we’ve made some serious progress in both mental health and women’s health over the years. (Thank goodness, or I’d probably already be lobotomized.) However, like with many things, we still have a long way to go… While it might not be as taboo as it once was, there’s still quite a bit of negativity surrounding mental health. I know there are many reasons for this, and I’m no expert, but I suspect a big one is because we can’t see it. Clearly, if you have a broken leg, folks can witness the challenges you face throughout the day – like getting up the stairs, for instance. But if you have depression, there are no broken bones to present to the world to attest to the fact that you struggle to get out of bed. We can’t see the chemical imbalance in your brain. And while a broken leg might find you on the receiving end of empathy and understanding, depression (or other mental illnesses) will usually only get you judgmental side-eye. It can’t be seen, so it must not be real, and therefore you should just get over it. (That seems to be a popular opinion anyway…)
I also have a hunch that everyone struggles with their mental health from time to time. Perhaps not on the clinical level, but enough to have an inkling of what our fellow humans might be experiencing. However, such things are usually swept under the rug and avidly ignored. Maybe if we all just took off our masks and really looked at one another, we might acknowledge the enormous, stinky elephant pushing us around the room. (Seriously, let’s take a peek, open a window, and get that elephant some peanuts…)
© 2024 Rachel L. Shumate | All rights reserved.
So, just some food for thought… I vote we all make an effort to stop fueling the stigma around mental health. We can start by being careful with our words and questioning our beliefs. (This is true of many things.) And if you feel like you would benefit from seeing a professional “trained in mental health care,” by all means, take it from the cookie, and go for it. There is absolutely zero shame in doing so. In fact, I think you should be commended for your self-awareness and for taking that step. And if you have a friend or family member who struggles with mental health, I realize that it’s sometimes difficult to understand, or know how best to offer support, but your willingness to show up for those you love means a lot. And regardless of where you find yourself resonating in this jumble of words, I’m sending virtual hugs and wishing you a happy day – full of good thoughts!
PS: By the way, I used a broken leg for my analogy on purpose because our society is also not very kind to folks with physical disabilities – or any disability, actually. Sigh… we really need to do better.
PPS: If you need help right away, please visit: 988lifeline.org or call 988. There is absolutely no shame in doing so. Hugs!!
🙂
