© 2022 Rachel L. Shumate | All rights reserved.
Not long ago I bought myself a ring to wear on my middle finger, on my left hand. Its significance is not terribly unlike that of the one next to it, only it represents a promise made to myself. A proposal, if you will, for self-love. (And it’s also fun to think of it as a reminder to tell the world where to go if need be…) Each time I put it on, I set a daily intention to love who I am, follow my heart, be strong, and to be unapologetically me.
What would it look like to be unapologetically you? Maybe let that marinate for a bit…
I think as we grow older, and wiser, we transition into an “unbecoming” phase of life – not to be confused with a midlife crisis, but perhaps they could go hand in hand (no worries here though). In this “unbecoming” we simply start to shed, little by little, all the things that no longer serve us (or never did to begin with). Our tastes, opinions, beliefs, dreams, goals, ideas, and so on are significantly less influenced by others and social standards, and instead we turn inward to figure out who we really are. It’s both beautiful and tragic. Why tragic, you ask? Because we never learned to truly love and trust ourselves when we were young. What a gift it would be to instill this mindset in our children so they have less “unbecoming” to do when they grow up…
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. As a woman, and especially a mother, I believe it is imperative to set a good example for my daughter, and others, by building and demonstrating strong character. I want to instill in my daughter an unwavering self-love and confidence that will enable her to choose her own path wisely and live life to the fullest – on her terms. It might sound a bit taboo, but I also want her to remember to put herself first. Now, I’m not about to try and raise a narcist (haha), but I do think women are often programed, sometimes even expected, to put others first and themselves last. It’s that deep-seated nurturing trait that gets abused far too often. It’s also something I have to frequently remind my people-pleasing-self. Sigh, I digress…
Not only do I want to be a good example for my daughter, I want to be an advocate for all women. I’d like to remind you of how amazing you already are and that you are capable of greatness. The world has a tendency to strongly influence us on how we should be, think, and feel in various subtle, and not so subtle, ways. There are a lot of gimmicks, and a myriad of things society claims will make us “whole,” but we never had anything missing to begin with, only excess mental-garbage piled so high that we could no longer see ourselves. So, let’s take out the trash and start “unbecoming” in order to become who we are truly meant to be.
Who’s with me???
PS: My ring is designed to look like ocean waves. I chose this symbol because the sea is my happy place and significant for me. If you would like to make an “unbecoming” proposal to yourself and wish to get a ring to commemorate this new mindset (it’s not necessary, but fun), some meaningful ring design ideas might be: a lotus, a compass, a dragonfly, a star, mountains, a family heirloom, a particular gem stone, or simply anything that speaks to your heart and will remind you of your awesomeness. Also, I vote we show our rings off proudly and flaunt them like some people do when their fiancé gives them a giant diamond – because why the heck not? Let’s start a movement. 😉
PPS: Apparently, I’m not alone in this concept, as I discovered several books and articles related to the topic when I googled to see if I could properly use the word “unbecoming” in this context. I rather like it. And now I have some new books to peruse.
