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You need a time out. Yep. I’m calling it. Go sit yourself in a silent room, turn off your phone, breathe and think of nothing for a bare minimum of ten minutes – a day. Don’t you roll your eyes at me missy… Haha!! Isn’t it funny how childhood punishments like a time out, going to bed early and getting grounded all sound like absolute heaven to adults? I know I can’t be alone in this… (For real though, you should try a time out – meditation can do wonders.)
So seriously, when was the last time you took a break? As in, really relax?
The sad truth is that we’re all too damn busy. And unfortunately, we often view this busyness as a badge of honor. In our society if you aren’t busy, people assume you must be lazy. The only way to decline a new obligation is if you’re already booked with another. Heaven forbid, you have any downtime. This increasing and toxic hustle culture that we live in is unhealthy on so many levels. It not only negatively affects our mental and physical health, it hurts our relationships as well.
Did you know that we, mere mortals, need between two and five hours of downtime every day? Every damn day. (Shocking! I know.) I can think of waaaaay too many people who are lucky to get two to five hours a week! (Hey mama, I see you…) And by downtime, I obviously don’t mean taking our work home with us so we can do it in the comfort of our living room, shuffling our kids from one exhausting extracurricular activity to the next, certainly not cooking or cleaning, caring for our children, or being on call so our employer can reach us no matter what hour it is. I don’t even mean doom scrolling social media, aimlessly losing blocks of time from our lives.
No; our downtime needs to be time set aside for us to relax, rejuvenate, and engage in activities that we actually enjoy. And we shouldn’t feel guilty about it either. (I promise!!) In fact, we need to honor this time and guard it with firm boundaries. I’ll share a secret that took me a long time to learn… It’s okay to say no; no thanks; wish I could, but I don’t want to (hehe); etc. Yep, even when we don’t have any excuse other than we simply don’t feel like it. Our time is precious and the only true currency that we have on this Earth. I once heard someone say that, every time you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do, you say “no” to yourself. For me, that hit a little different…
So now, I guard my time more carefully. I kicked my people pleasing tendencies to the curb. I say “no” more often. And I’ve learned to ask for help, and how to set boundaries. I understand (much too deeply) that being in perpetual burnout is no way to live, and that I personally need a lot of alone time to decompress so that I can show up as my best self. (My family definitely appreciates this.) I work hard on purpose, and I relax on purpose. I do both with intention because if I don’t plan it out, life will rush by while I dither about what to do next. (I might have attention issues.)
I guess what I’m encouraging you to do is, to live on purpose – and don’t let people confuse your downtime with your availability. Life is way too damn short; right?! Make sure you’re enjoying it while you can. So please, by all means… go crack open a cold one and enjoy some “driveway drinking” (it’s a real thing practiced by my friends, haha), snuggle up with a good book, take a walk outside, play catch with your kid, paint a picture, or whatever it is that you like to do. Just be sure to make time for what makes your heart happy.
PS: To reiterate, time outs are awesome. When we are always busy, rushing to the next thing, never taking a moment to look inward, we fail to feel; and we live in a constant state of distraction. Mediating, even for just five minutes a day, can give our overworked and overstressed brains and nervous systems a break. And if all else fails, another option is coloring. No joke. It reduces restless thoughts. And I know a great coloring book to recommend… 😉
PPS: Need a little inspo for self-care? Read this post.
🙂
