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Back in the day, I used to be a bit of a drinker. College has a way of bringing that out in folks, and like most young people, I enjoyed a good party (mostly for the music because I love to dance). After those university days, my friends and I, along with our spouses, would still get together and have drinks whenever adulthood allowed. And Kendall and I also liked to chill out on our back deck with a few beers now and then. But somewhere in my 30s, I lost interest in alcohol. And now, I don’t drink.
In today’s society, and among nearly all of the adults I know, this is apparently a bit uncommon. Whenever I’m asked if I’d like an alcoholic beverage, and I say no thanks, people usually seem to wonder if I’ll follow up with something like: I’m the D.D., or I’m a recovering alcoholic, or an excuse that makes for a “valid reason.” Granted, I usually am the default designated driver because of this, but my why is very lackluster. I used to drink. And now I don’t. There’s no exciting backstory or drama. I was never an alcoholic. It’s definitely not due to religious beliefs. I certainly don’t have an issue with it or care if others drink. I’m not a teetotaler (I’ll drink on rare occasions). I just simply don’t find it all that appealing anymore.
Years ago, when I gradually started declining drinks at get-togethers and the occasional party, I noticed that folks had a hard time wrapping their heads around it. And when asked, I didn’t really have a reason why to offer them other than I just didn’t want one. And I could understand their confusion, as I went from enjoying margaritas, wine, or a good mixed drink, to suddenly preferring water. Of course, my family and friends are pretty used to it now, but at first, I admit it was kinda weird.
You might be wondering why I’m even telling you about this if I don’t have some sort of moving story or exciting history with alcohol to share. I suppose it’s to let you know that if you’ve ever been “sober curious” (our society revolves around alcohol so much that this is actually a term), you’re not alone. Recently, I was surprised to learn that I have a couple of friends who now don’t drink either, but whose paths leading to this decision were darker and more complex than my own (thus they are more courageous and inspiring for their choice, and I commend them). And when this topic came up in conversation, I noticed that there was a relieved sort of energy and comradery that transpired. It’s always nice to know that you’re not alone (no matter what it is). So, I hope this helps if you find yourself in the same boat.
I’d also like to note that being sober has never once stopped me from having a good time. I’m ridiculous with or without alcohol. (True story; ask anyone.) I will still get out on a dance floor and shake my tushie with the best of them, and I still laugh and carry on just as hard. The best part is I don’t wake up with a headache!
PS: Please know that if you enjoy drinking and have zero desire to quit, that’s totally okay too! (As long as it’s not negatively affecting your life or loved ones.) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking responsibly. Cheers, my friend!
PPS: If you do think you might have a toxic relationship with alcohol, or use it as a numbing or coping mechanism, there’s certainly no shame in seeking help if you feel that you should. You can call this number (1-866-210-1303) to find local AA Meetings, or simply begin your journey by confiding in someone you trust. Hugs, my friend!
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